At last, I finally have a conspiracy theory of my own … and it’s TRUE! I can prove it.

Secretly the designers of the iPhone clearly hate certain locales. One of these locales — albeit deservedly so — is Hemet, California. For instance, try to type Hemet in a text message. THE FINAL “T” WILL NEVER WORK. The letters around it work, but you cannot directly type the final letter T.

hemet ……. H … E … M … E …. R (?!?!?)

They don’t hate it so much that autocorrect won’t work, and it usually fixes itself. But still … clearly a conspiracy.

Now, I’ve only tried this so far on 3 iPhones, so perhaps it’s somehow localized… but really, it’s the strangest thing. There are probably other words out there, so if you want to add to The Great iPhone Conspiracy, add your “untypeable” words to the comments below.

(PS: I have a theory on why this happens, but that’s no fun. For now let’s just keep it a secret little conspiracy, just between you, me, and our 80,000 past readers.)

It’s really easy to take good pictures of my nephew Branson, he’s soooo cute. Here are a couple from Mother’s Day (May 14, 2008):

But it would also be easy (actually, easier) to mess up these shots. My mom (shown with Branson in the next picture) asked me what it is that makes my pictures look good. There are 4 basics — including the easiest “trick” of them all — that anyone can do to make their images look great:

1. Have a great subject that tells an emotional story. Clearly this is the key to any great photo … if you can tell a story and if you can interact emotionally with the viewer, then you’ve done your job as a photographer. Have a great subject, know the story you’re telling, and make sure you capture it.

2. Be able to identify the great shots. I take a lot of shots. On Mother’s Day I was hardly took any pictures … for me. That means I only took about 100 shots throughout the day — of which I liked perhaps 4. This is THE BIGGEST SECRET TRICK of all good photographers: Eliminate 98% or more of your shots, and only show the very, very best. With this trick, pretty much anyone’s work can look good. Of course, this requires that you can IDENTIFY the great shots, that you’ve got the technical aspects handled, and that you captured a good subject … but this is the easiest way to improve your photography: Only show your very best images.

3. Find great light. Always, always be looking for great light. Where is it coming from? What is its quality? Is it hard light or soft light, one source or multiples, dramatic or bland? I actually bought my loft based upon the quality of the light here: huge windows with the sun coming in just right means it’s easy to shoot here. But no matter where I am, if I see soft, natural, beautiful light then I can’t but help think about pictures. My “trigger finger” actually gets itchy … it’s funny. Know what good light looks like, and start recognizing and mentally cataloging those places where you can find or make it.

4. Know your tools! As in any art, you cannot seamlessly create what you want unless you have a mastery of the tools. Start with the basics: read your camera’s manual and buy Photoshop’s “Classroom in a Book”. Practice and drill both. Know your tools first, this is the foundation for being able to accomplish any of these points.

In the photos here, the reason the pictures look technically okay is (a) I used a good lens for portraits (50mm) with a low aperture setting to create a shallow depth-of-field. If you don’t know what this means, then you don’t know your equipment… and therefore you’re not going to get the shots you want, and (b) I used Photoshop to its full capabilities to create the beautiful black & white tones.

There’s always more, of course, but if you capture an emotional subject technically well and in great light, and only show the best images from your shoot … then you’re 95% of the way to an amazing photograph.

“Of the liberty of conscience in matters of religious faith, of speech and of the press; of the trial by jury of the vicinage in civil and criminal cases; of the benefit of the writ of habeas corpus; of the right to keep and bear arms… If these rights are well defined, and secured against encroachment, it is impossible that government should ever degenerate into tyranny.””

– James Monroe (1758-1831), 5th U.S. President

Churches that are taxed out of existence for political statements; wiretapping US citizens without a warrant; no jury trials — nor even charges! — for anyone named a “terrorist,” and gun control spreading insidiously … these are the traits of our government less than 300 years after Monroe. Where will this nation be in 100 years? How safe are we from degeneration into tyranny now? And what are you doing about it?

It was one of those random nights.

Arrive at Leatherby’s Rouge Cafe at the new Segerstrom Center. Beautiful place. Think you know the front desk girl. Realize you DO know the front desk girl. Realize you have pictures of her on your phone because 2 years ago you photographed her, then never heard from her again.

Talk with a guy who knows your Grape Radio friends. Sit down and have a wine dinner with the President/Co-Owner of Merryvale Winery (very nice wines): a sea bass starter with Silhouette Chardonnay, then the Maple Leaf Duck Breast (2005 Merryvale Cab), followed by a grilled lamb sirloin (2004 Merryvale Profile), and finished off with — quite simply and beautifully — imported cheese plate with fruit … and the 1999 Merryvale Profile.

Discover that I also have pictures of the Merryvale Cask Room on my phone (taken at the MuscleCar 1000).

The President thinks I took the picture off their website … except thinks perhaps mine is better. Makes an offer to trade wine for pictures. I accept, wondering if he is actually serious. Talk to President for 30 minutes or an hour, mostly about the joy of local city government in the Napa area.

Later discover the person sitting next to me (anonymous, yes) has been “felt up” (somewhat willingly) the whole time through dinner by a stranger. I’m oblivious the whole time. They later trade numbers. Run into 2-3 more people who know someone that I know, somehow. I don’t trade any numbers.

Tour the interior and roof of the Segerstrom Center until we get kicked out by security. Head home. Allow friend to use the bathroom in my house for five minutes or less. In those 5 minutes, he gets parking ticket. Officer is still there, so we talk to officer for 30+ minutes, mostly about the joy of local city government. (Good thing that for safety sake we got the ticket: 5 minutes of illegal parking if there had been no ticket versus 35 minutes of illegal parking with a ticket. The world is clearly more safe now that we’ve been ticketed.)

Head home, think about 2 huge meetings earlier in the day and how they might affect my life in the future. Go to bed. Type lame blog entry on laptop, from bed. Wonder what it all means. Sleep.

…then here is your astrological forecast for 2008-2009

Born May 1

Relationships stabilize and take on new meaning for you this year. Some decidedly romantic and growth-oriented experiences are in store. It’s a strong year for organizing your finances. Opportunities to advance in your career come with a positive attitude and enterprising spirit.

I thought I’d take a late night walk and play with the camera for a few minutes. I got lucky and a train was going by (well, I had to run and barely caught the tail end of it) and got this 30 second exposure of Santa Ana Blvd. I’ll have to go again and get a close-up of the gates going up next time:

I turned around for another 25 or 30 second exposure for this dramatic street-corner view of the Santiago Street Lofts.

I think this is the better shot of the two, clearly.

I was trying to see what could be doing using Photoshop’s HDR (high dynamic range) module … you take a photo at 3 different exposures (okay, too dark, and too light) and you’re then supposed to be able to use Photoshop to recombine those images and pull out the best details of each into a new and spectacular image. Unfortunately, it didn’t work well at all with what I was trying to do. I’ll have to try HDR again some other time … since it’s all the rage right now. (It’s actually overly trendy and overly done, but I’ve seen some amazing black & white photos where all the additional detail gives the feeling of an old-school silver print … and that’s what I’d like to create.)

Chris from the OC Art Blog did a video of our recent Art Walk … if you heard about it and came (or thought about coming) you might find this interesting. The Art Walks are every third Saturday from about 7pm until 10pm at the intersection of Santa Ana Blvd and Santiago Street in Santa Ana, California (aka The Santiago St Lofts). There are bigger Art Walks every 3 months; the next one is July 19, 2008:

By the way, if you’re into art and you’re in the Orange County area, the OC Art Blog has some interesting information about OC Contemporary Art.

[Note: Post edited to attribute video the right person… thanks, Chris!]

So I debated: do a full write-up of my newest photoshop-conquest, sharing my brilliance with the multitude of loyal fans … or find a picture of that time so long ago when I sported — I hesitate even to say this — I sported a mullet? (Mullet: hairstyle that is short in the front, on the top, and on the sides, but long in the back.) I figured the bad hair would be more interesting.

Thankfully I wasn’t able to find a good, full-on career-ruining, public humiliation-type of shot. But I did find this Barry White video that I was in. (”I wanna do it good to ya.”) Keep your eye out for the horn player in the back left … playing trombone. There’s a little bit right in the beginning, and between 21 and 27 seconds, and short clips here and there. (There’s really not much … but the concept is amusing.)

By the way, it seems pretty tame today, but this video was considered very risque, and was actually banned in several cities when it originally aired.

Backstory: I was a music major at USC for a while … thinking that I would be a music performer. (However, I wasn’t so great at practicing and gave up the scholarship to study Philosophy and — in theory — go be a lawyer. The philosophy degree I got … but the law thing didn’t work out either.) Anyway, the music department got a call one day looking for extras for the video, and I just happened to be around. So I spent about 18 hours with Barry and friends doing the video. Barry was approachable, very cool, generally normal and friendly.

Just a quick pic of my cousin Jake in Chris’ Ferrari, from December. I’m lame, just now getting to this. It was bad quality, so I photoshopped the heck out of it to try and save it.

The Ferarri is an ultra-rare Superamerica, FYI …

Friday Night at the Santiago Street Lofts: A Gallery preview draws a fair crowd to Omi Gallery. The crowd consumes all of Omi Gallery’s wine. Eventually we head upstairs, find more wine, and continue the varied and stimulating conversation through the late evening. At some point we must take the Golden Retriever and the Chihuahua for a walk — Naomi looking spectacular (and spectacularly out of place) in all black and her high boots, the dogs looking ridiculous in their pink leashes. Afterwards, a few of us go to a local club. I meet someone.

Saturday at the Lofts: It’s “Big Art Walk Night” (as opposed to the monthly “regular-sized” Art Walk), and the crowds come out in droves. First a small gathering at my place — including the makeshift “bar” made out of unpacked boxes — with great food and … you guessed it … more wine. Neighbor Naomi brings homemade cupcakes, and other friends make the trek out of their nice, safe neighborhoods to … the ‘hood. The wine somehow follows us as we stroll out into the 16 galleries below. We walk from gallery to gallery, including 2 with James’ work. One has a crazy Mercedes all painted up and a circus performer spinning a large wheel (for $1) out on the sidewalk to determine winners of either a small pin or — with long odds — a larger piece of art. I win the art. A DJ spins at one gallery, another offers “magic punch” (yumm), and another has furniture. I buy 2 tables (which figure in the story later) but don’t take them home yet. It’s another late night out with friends and neighbors.

Sunday at the Lofts: Sushi lunch with neighbors Claudia and Mike. Build a bookshelf all day, including removing and drilling a light to get it all to fit. Hear lots of sirens, grab the camera, see an accident where a car nearly — but doesn’t — runs straight through the front window into a neighbor’s loft workspace. Head back the other direction and see more police on the other sides of my Loft with a suspect (apparently fleeing the scene) face down on the ground in handcuffs. Get a call from the neighbors who just made soup, and offer some. Go get soup (yum!), then get a call to pickup my tables. Walk over to my other neighbor’s to get the tables and stumble upon a neighborhood barbecue in progress.

Barbecue features: Mexican food, Korean BBQ, beer, more wine, and hot dogs; a projector showing The Transformers movie inside Dentist Jason’s garage with a dozen neighbors sitting around watching in lawnchairs; a neighbor (who shall remain anonymous out of kindness) playing with his lightsaber; and a local officer of the law (not related to the accident) mingling and enjoying the evening. I eat some more, and then walk home with tables on my head.

This is so much better than Irvine.

(A few low-quality (mostly iPhone) photos are below.) Read the rest of this entry »